A Golden Sling for My Chin

I spent an hour this morning trying to convince my Monstera that the morning sun hitting the blinds was not an invitation to wilt. While I stared at the leaves, I realized my own jawline looked as slumped as an overwatered succulent.

Enter the Maree V Line Lifting Mask. It is a chin strap infused with 24K gold, retinol, and hyaluronic acid.

It looks absurd, like a piece of high tech equipment for a pet lizard, but that is exactly why I adore it. The gold feels decadent, even if it is just sitting on my face while I mist the ferns.

My skin feels firmer, but more importantly, it holds my face in place while I concentrate on repotting. It is a strange, shimmering sling that makes me feel like a pampered specimen.

If you want to look like a gilded, uplifted creature of the forest, this is for you. It stays put, it smells vaguely clinical, and it provides a quiet half hour of stillness in a cramped apartment.

My spider plants seem to approve of the glimmer. Just keep it away from the actual soil, or you might find yourself with a very expensive, gold flecked peace lily.