A Crop Top for the Ferns

I generally avoid clothing that features aggressive logos, but the FOCO Baltimore Ravens crop top currently sitting on my floor has a certain weathered charm. Most NFL gear is built for stadium shouting.

This piece is different. It is soft, faded, and hits right at the waistline.

This is vital when you are leaning over a monstera to check for spider mites. You do not want heavy fabric dragging through damp peat moss while you are trying to prune back yellowing fronds.

I bought it on Amazon for forty dollars. Is it overpriced for a shirt with a bird on it.

Perhaps. But the distressed hem looks like it has been through a few seasons, which is the exact aesthetic of my living room jungle.

It is surprisingly airy, letting me maneuver between my climbing pothos without snagging a stray vine on a stiff collar or a tight sleeve.

It is perfect for:

• Reaching high shelves without restricting arm movement
• Staying cool during mid-afternoon misting sessions
• Looking like a vaguely athletic person while you obsessively track soil pH levels

It is a strange crossover of football fandom and high humidity horticulture. I am keeping it.

If the Ravens make the playoffs, I might actually wear it outside, though I suspect the ferns will miss me.